My life could be described in a series of dichotomies. My life is extremely busy, but most of my time is spent in two places: home or the ballet studio. The weekends are either spent at home or on the road doing gigs. (Lately I’ve looked forward to my first weekend at home in a month in a half which will happen NEXT weekend.) This weekend we’re headed to Alabama: Birmingham today and Auburn tomorrow. Sunday we’re thinking about going to Huntsville to the Space Center.
But back to dichotomies… Isn’t it funny how life can be tough, but still wonderful at the same time? Or maybe that feeling of frustration, but you’re really not that mad- just a little flustered? Or sometimes when you are mad, but you realize in the middle of your argument with someone just how ridiculous the whole thing is and you feel like busting your gut laughing? Another dichotomy is when you’ve had someone or groups of people pretty much treat you like crap, but part of you actually feels sorry for THEM?
The biggest dichotomy in my life is that I can come across as really pensive, but I’m also playful. I believe that finding balance in life’s dichotomies is where true peace and grace reside. One can’t always be thinking about changing the world or engaging in a conspiratorial debate. But on the other hand, you can’t push serious matters aside because you don’t want to delve into the pain or thought, (or painful thought 🙂 ), that life brings to your door. Once in delusion, I did the latter and found out at 28 that I really had no clue how the world worked, how to function socially or how to make a thought of my own. I was a religious machine- a Stepford church robot. Then once I realized this, I went through 5 years of learning how things worked in the real world, how to not be a social idiot and through these years, I formed my own thoughts and opinions on all of life’s issues. Some people couldn’t handle me at this stage. Kudos to those who stuck with me. I was just determined to not fall into the same pattern as I did before. Now, I finally am whole and live in balance this dichotomy.
Well, I was planning on making a home blog entry, but I guess my Gypsy mind wandered again. It does that sometimes…