When I was “just” a housewife, not having started my music career yet, I would watch Oprah. I remember 2 specific instances where I actually broke down in tears watching.
The first time was when Bono was on for an interview with Oprah. I couldn’t explain it, but I just felt that somehow music was my destiny. However, I was sitting on a couch folding laundry while watching daytime talk shows. I was also going to a very stifling church that frowned upon doing music outside their worship team. I didn’t see how it was going to possible for me to actually do what I felt in my soul I was supposed to do.
The second time was when Oprah had a singing contest for stay-at-home moms. I even recorded a video tape to enter. I watched the competition shows with a huge sense of sadness, as so many moms with kids got to take steps towards their dreams. The winner was a mom of 5 and started her Christian music career. At that time I felt that I missed my chance. Why? I chickened out and didn’t send in my tape. My fear of displeasing other people kept me from sending it in. I really regret that, but maybe it was meant to be that way.
Something happened deep inside me though, as within a couple of years I decided to start my music career. It took me awhile to find my footing, but I’ve been on a steady climb since 2011, with a lot of learning that has happened along the way. This past year especially has been a year of decompressing, learning, growing, deciding, and doing.
Everyone’s heard about my past struggles: Old news, trampled in the streets. Here’s some new news to see: God told me to do this. I prayed about it a lot. He showed me through a lot of different avenues and from different mouths that this is what I am supposed to do. So I’m going to. I’m not that same young girl who sat watching the TV wishing for something that I was too afraid to do. I have a purpose. I have a destiny. Walk on.