I’ve thought about this subject before, but I wanted to write about it today. There was a post on a family member’s page that mentioned the word and it got me thinking about how many people say they like loyalty. I would guess most, if not all people, (except the extremely anti-social,) like loyalty. (Just a guess, though.) The problem I’ve found is that the word “loyalty” gets thrown around a lot, and in that, gets used when the word “fealty” should be used instead.
Loyalty is built from relationship, and is grown through time. It isn’t automatic, instead is built upon through trust. It’s hard to be loyal to something or someone that hasn’t given much in return, while it’s easier to be loyal to something or someone who has given something of value. In business, people aren’t loyal customers until they’ve bought a product more than once. Their return to purchase from a business means they feel that the product they bought before was worth the investment of buying from it again. But if they aren’t getting what they thought they’d get, they’ll go elsewhere.
This can easily be found in a relationship too. People will invest time and care into something that they feel is worth their time. If they have tried to invest before and gotten burned, they aren’t going to want to give the person the HONOR of their loyalty.
Fealty, on the other hand, is demanded, and sometimes forced, if someone has enough power. It isn’t built on relationship; it’s built on control. It says, “Do what I want or you will be punished.” No business is built on this principle, except perhaps for car insurance which the government has forced us to pay for if we own a vehicle. No company representative would come up to a random person and say, “You owe me allegiance, just because I’m a Forbes Top 100.” (Some probably would if they could, but that isn’t either here or there.)
Yet for some reason, there are certain people who think you owe them the world, just because they live and breathe and you know them. When they say, “You owe me loyalty,” what they really mean is “I demand your fealty. I want you to accept everything I have to say, always agree with me, always do what I want to do, dress like me…. JUST BECAUSE.”
There is no honor in fealty. There is no respect in it, or any relationship. Most people know that relationship is built on trust, communication, and time spent to get to know someone else. That is where loyalty is built. Fealty is build upon power and control. I haven’t catered to people who demand fealty for years. True power comes from trust, not force, as well as respect, not control.
I just want to add that this blog isn’t about my label, my family, or my friends. It was truly just something I was contemplating on tonight, sparked by something I read on Facebook. (((hugs)))